I never really thought I’d be single parent. Who really does, I guess? But in never really thinking about being a single parent, I never really realized just how hard it would be. Sure, there are the relatively easy-to-understand things like making arrangements when you have to stay at the office late. And the exhaustion at the end of the day of being the sole responsible one; making dinner, baths, age-appropriate entertainment, education, bedtimes, handling sickness, etc; all after you’ve already had your nose to the metaphorical grind for 8 some-odd hours. Even a non-parent can at least visualize the work, and often exhaustion.

The harder, more abstract issues sneak up on you. Reconciling the person you see day in and day out, turning from helpless infant into curious toddler before your eyes becomes a little person; grown in a great many ways. It’s sometime difficult to remember that no matter what leaps and bound, what great achievements your child has made, they’re still just a child. And in that centered largely on gratification of their own needs and desires. They’re not emotionally manipulative creatures, just rather narcissistic [And I don't mean this negatively, it's vital for survival, evolutionarily speaking]. They don’t understand jealousy, thankfully. This can make parenting [Not just single-parenting] emotionally exhausting. With no explanation for the desire they may want the other parent, or grandparent, or whatever despite your own need and desire to spend time with them. And frankly it hurts, being an “emotionally mature” creature with these complex emotional structures based on years of conditioning and leveraged, meticulous self-interest when your child simple would rather be somewhere else with someone else, at least for that brief flash of time.

I’ve known since day one, as much as I am teaching her, she is in turn teaching me. I guess I hadn’t realized my daughter would help be understand philosophy better…

The Second Agreement:

Don’t Take Anything Personally: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering