So being stuck in an interminable limbo while my main computer is down (and even then, I’ll have to reload the entire damn thing), and using my office laptop as my interim system, I have reached an epiphany.

I need a desk. More specifically, I need an office. I’ve been working on the couch rather than my usual chair w/ laptop desk, and it has taken it’s toll on my lower back. No position is comfortable. No lighting is adequate. And more so than any of the rest, working in the family room, while practical as a father/husband, is absolutely the worst thing a person could do who is trying to “force the muse.” I have been trying to get back to write for a long time now, and I have things that I desperately want to get out but I aways seem to find an excuse; and the slight change of position has made me realize that this environment is the most dreadful thing I could do for that.

This came in part with the realization that my next computer will be a desktop. I will keep my laptop for the portability and it is still a reasonably good system, but going forward, I’m getting a 24″ iMac so that:

• I am forced to sit at said desk to work it, thus encouraging me to devote real time to writing.
• I can easily and hopefully more productively, continue to pursue some of my other projects with a greater ease (i.e.: Short film animation, digital video editing, more podcasts, etc.)

I know that I’ll have to work hard to achieve a precarious balance to devote enough time to my wife and daughter WHILE working to focus on writing again. It’ll be hard work, but I know it’s worth doing.

As someone who has prided himself on being above-average in regards to productivity and productivity tools, I can’t believe that it took an ergonomic shift for me to realize what a bad idea a laptop as a main workstation for me is…

Technorati Tags: desk, laptop, distraction, workspace, productivity

Well, for those of you who might think a plumbers pipes never leak, I can assure you with all certainty that they do. And when they do, it often floods. What I am eluding to is my recent string of bad luck with electronics (i.e.: A dead iPod) and now compounded with failed sectors in my companion laptop, meaning my laptop is dead until I can get a new hard drive in it and reload EVERYTHING [Grumble]. While I am relatively sure that the majority of the data will be recoverable, and luckily my music collection was spared on an external hard drive, I am still too fucking frustrated for words. At least it happened AFTER the wedding. I am trying hard not to take this as a life sign that I ought to be doing other things.

That being said, maybe I ought to be doing other things; like writing a damn article about the end of the labor union strike on Broadway for the company webpage that the boss wanted me to write (For those of you just tuning in, I am the IT Director, not a Public Relation Manager or a Journalist…) Then again, maybe I should take that as a sign that I should also be blogging more over here…

Photo by me, taken some time back. There are more pictures over at my flickr page.

Technorati Tags: Frustration, laptop, hard drive, writing, career

Vegetarian
Corn-dogs and wine. So Tasty.
How White-trash am I?

Technorati Tags: Haiku

<WHINE>
Ugg, I’m fighting the sickness from hell currently. In fact, ill enough that it has taken me 3 damn days to even get this much written. I feel like someone has placed party balloons in my sinuses and inflated them to the maximum volumetric amount without bursting. My whole damn body aches and I can’t get comfortable. I took Tuesday off from work, when this first struck, but work called more times then I care to count. Basically, I’m miserable. That being said, the Goblin raised my spirits today after showing me the card she made me at school the other day. Clearly she understands how I feel as evidenced by this:

Click on the image to see why I almost peed myself with laughter.

Yes, my daughter has been pinned pretty well. Dramatics and all. Ok, I’m done…
</WHINE>

Oh happy day for geeky little basey! The new version of ml_ipod [the ultimate non-iTunes iPod manager for WinAmp] was released quietly early this week with a feature I’ve been lusting after since it’s inception, Audioscrobbler/Last.FM support! These means all everything I play on my iPod gets ’scrobbled too! [My Last.FM Page is here].

For those not in the know… shame on you. Audioscrobbler/Last.FM basically tracks EVERYTHING you listen to [up until now limited what one listened to AT their terminal] and uploads the information [not the song] to your personal Last.FM page. Thus you can communicate with others who might have similar music taste to your own, as well as learn about artists you may or may not have been exposed to. They also include a Radio function, that plays things it thinks you might like, that you can more or less tailor to suit your preferences, that also tags songs to your profile. Thus you can avoid that whole “I heard this really great song on the radio but I have no idea who sings it” issue. The other great feature, that I am sadly don’t have much time for, but would love to use more, is personally tagging artists with your own keyword tags like “Shoegazer, Post-Rock, Bands-I’ve-Heard-Live, etc.”

So, yeah, the ability to also catch all the things I listen to when I am driving or out and about, makes for a happy basey.

I read a wonderful post just yesterday that I stumbled upon whist looking at something completely unrelated (don’t ask me what it was, I ain’t got a clue). It was a blog entry on “Why I blog” that really made sense to me. I’ve been self-editing so much; thinking “No blog something serious and meaningful and deep and blah, blah, blah.” that I hardly get anything out.

Basically, what I’m trying to tiptoe around here without scaring you is that there’s no point to anything and then you die.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, cheer up! As oxymoronic as it sounds, sheer insignificance can be really empowering. The pressure’s off. You don’t matter and never will. So it’s time to do what you want! “Ohh, I shouldn’t be spending so much time playing solitaire/watching TV/picking my nose.” What are you feeling so guilty about? You aren’t going to cure cancer, and even if you did, you would still die, and so would everyone you cured, so unless curing cancer is fun for you (and it certainly is for some people), do something else. Whatever you want. It can even be something really stupid. Like collecting rocks. Or sitting and pretending to be a rock. Or sitting and pretending to be a rock who likes to play video games all day while eating cheese. Not because it matters, or because it means anything, but because you like doing it.

An excerpt from Why I Blog - written over at Schnozzfest

I need to accept that I don’t have to have something epic to say. My life is as thrilling as everyone else’s. And I have my moments of clarity and humour. And besides, I imagine few other people can say they were hit on my a dwarf in a bear costume… [It was a Rockettes incident, I never got around to blogging it...] I’m going to write about what I want, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll find it interesting, or think I’m funny (please god, tell me you think I’m funny…). Maybe you’ll like the podcasts. Maybe you’ll hate them. It really doesn’t matter. The end all is, I enjoy doing it. And I needed to remind myself of that.

Technorati Tags: ml_ipod, iPod, WinAmp, Audioscrobbler, Last.FM, tagging, blog, self-editing, Sick

In an effort to encourage people to visit and read this site, I’ve decided to make it easier for people to comment by turning off the requirement of being a registered user of this site.  Certainly I encourage you to register, but making people jump through hoops to comment or contribute was counter-productive and comes off as unfriendly.   Hopefully between this change and my effort to post more regularly, this site may become more popular.  I guess we shall see.

All the important details of the year have been recapped, I won’t waste time with that. I guess that means it’s time for a few obligatory something-something ‘06 lists…

A number of the best albums of ‘06 [In no particular order]:

• The Brother Kite: Waiting for the Time to Be Right
  Sun-bleached melodies, with a lingering melancholy without being heavy. The album reminds me of ‘Pet Sounds’ if Brian Wilson weren’t so full of himself.
• Secret Machines: Ten Silver Drops
  I can best describe this album as ‘anthemic’. It has arena heavy drums, swirling guitar sounds, and great lyrics.
• ill lit: Tom Cruise
  If I HAD to choose, this album would be my favorite. It’s cosmic road music for a generation that is trying to find home. Somewhere Gramm Parsons is smiling.
• Band of Horses: Everything All The Time
  I suppose this is best described as southern-influenced rock; a indie with a twang, if you will. There’s a comfort in the familiar sadness here.
• Belong: October Language
  This album is skittery and static-y the perfect album to turn on and drift into your own head late at night. Lyrics would have ruined this album, as its swells and distortions conjure create the emotions without manufacturing a feeling.
• The Black Spoons: The History of Modern Silence
  The sophomore album from a trio [well, currently duo] of talented musicians. It’s intelligent, thoughtful rock music with no pretenses.
• Blue October: Foiled
  If you haven’t heard Blue October by now, you must be living in a cave [Can I come over and have tea?]. It’s dark, raw, honest rock music. As an added bonus Imogen Heap sings ‘Celebration’ with them. What more do you need?
• Dirty on Purpose: Hallelujah Sirens
  This is an album of jangly indie-pop music, again, probably best suited for late nights alone with bottle of wine.
• Girl Talk: Night Ripper
  Again, if I had to chose, this album would be #2 for the year. It’s a continuous mix mash-up of hip-hop and pop music. Things you never thought could go together somehow mix SEAMLESSLY with one another. A must-have.
• Letting Up Despite Great Faults: Movement
  Apparently as I compile this ‘06 was a year of melancholy. This albums is a great mix of organics like a string section, acoustic guitar, and a piano with the blips and bloops of daydreaming synthesizers and gentle, sad music.
• Snow Patrol: Eyes Open
  So, sometimes I tend to be a music snob, and I almost missed these guys without giving them a chance. Just a great emotional indie-rock album.
• Eels: With Strings - Live at Town Hall
  I typically HATE live albums, as I’ve rather SEE a band live, but this albums I think captures the intimacy that Mr. E set out to accomplish. You can almost smell the scotch on his breath.

Other notables include Té, Tex La Homa, Metallic Falcons, Brightback Morning Light, Chin Up Chin Up, Amusement Parks on Fire, Blue Sky Black Death, and the list goes on. Hopefully I’ll get around to reviewing ALL of these and more in the next year. Which brings us to our next list…

A Few Things I Intend on Doing Next Year:

• Write more regularly: Both on my blog and in general. I’m still struggling to regain my previous habit of writing. I caught myself procrastinating too much this year and self-editting to the point of destroying a piece before it’s ever started.
• Get married. I think this requires no real description.
• Read more. I got burned out on reading this year due to the high volume of tech blogs I read daily and the general exhaustion from work. I need to force myself to do this. There’s a great deal I want to read, but I just haven’t sat down to do so.
• Work on some animation. I have these ideas rattling in my skull, I should try to get them out.
• Take more time for myself. It seems simple, but I am horrid with that. I need to take time to mediate, read, and take care of myself so I can better take care of those that I care about.

Well, it’s time to get dressed and head out to toast the END of the Rockettes. Happy New Year!

Technorati Tags: best albums, The Brother Kite, Secret Machines, ill lit, Band of Horses, Belong, The Black Spoons, Blue October, Imogen Heap, Dirty on Purpose, Girl Talk, Letting Up Despite Great Faults, Snow Patrol, Eels, Lists, Resolutions, New Year

Molly’s blog entry today managed to jar a few things I’d had held up in my head lose today:

I need my electric typewriter — I think that’s the problem. I’ve this major issue whereby I think I suck and therefore over-edit. While my typewriter erases, it lacks the flexibility I tend to abuse in this digital medium.

Link

And then while I was tidying up my bedroom I peaked inside a box beside my bed that I’d been neglecting to do anything about and found a collection of blank writing books I’d been given by friends over the years. There are probably 5 or 6 of them in this house currently. And almost ALL of them have no more than 5 things written in them [largely old poetry]. There is even a Moleskine in my satchel right now [sadly, completely empty]. I have one torn and tattered notebook, just an old Walgreen’s composition book, which I repurposed sometime ago that is filled with writing. It’s faded and ugly and water-stained from years in an old backpack that followed me everywhere. But somewhere years ago, I stopped writing. And the books just collected.

Now, when I try to write again, I over-think, and I over edit, until I end up just abandoning the work completely. When I used that old notebook, I made it a strict policy of keeping my work raw, unedited [Much to someone's annoyance at the time...] But it becomes this cyclical issue. I get frustrated because I feel I lost the ability to write, but I keep trying. I force myself too, and I end up frustrated and edit to the point that I just quit. And that only makes it harder begin again. I apparently expect perfection out of myself. I lose sigh that I use to write for me, and no one else. Few people ever even saw my work; or at least knew it was mine when they did. And the ability to self-edit on the fly that a computer gives me, tends to feed my obsessive habit.

I am scared of those blank books. All those empty pages that I could very easily fuck up on and write dribble. I got too comfortable here behind the screen with my grammar highlighting and the ability to revise 1 billion times over with no trace of an eraser.

I’m learning to accept, however. I’m trying to write everyday; to put myself into this site [Though I worry that people will think that this site suck, and then I will take it personally as to thinking that I suck]. I’m trying to not to self-edit as much, and just way what is in my head. I guess we’ll see.

Technorati Tags: Writing, frustration, self editing