Molly’s blog entry today managed to jar a few things I’d had held up in my head lose today:

I need my electric typewriter — I think that’s the problem. I’ve this major issue whereby I think I suck and therefore over-edit. While my typewriter erases, it lacks the flexibility I tend to abuse in this digital medium.

Link

And then while I was tidying up my bedroom I peaked inside a box beside my bed that I’d been neglecting to do anything about and found a collection of blank writing books I’d been given by friends over the years. There are probably 5 or 6 of them in this house currently. And almost ALL of them have no more than 5 things written in them [largely old poetry]. There is even a Moleskine in my satchel right now [sadly, completely empty]. I have one torn and tattered notebook, just an old Walgreen’s composition book, which I repurposed sometime ago that is filled with writing. It’s faded and ugly and water-stained from years in an old backpack that followed me everywhere. But somewhere years ago, I stopped writing. And the books just collected.

Now, when I try to write again, I over-think, and I over edit, until I end up just abandoning the work completely. When I used that old notebook, I made it a strict policy of keeping my work raw, unedited [Much to someone's annoyance at the time...] But it becomes this cyclical issue. I get frustrated because I feel I lost the ability to write, but I keep trying. I force myself too, and I end up frustrated and edit to the point that I just quit. And that only makes it harder begin again. I apparently expect perfection out of myself. I lose sigh that I use to write for me, and no one else. Few people ever even saw my work; or at least knew it was mine when they did. And the ability to self-edit on the fly that a computer gives me, tends to feed my obsessive habit.

I am scared of those blank books. All those empty pages that I could very easily fuck up on and write dribble. I got too comfortable here behind the screen with my grammar highlighting and the ability to revise 1 billion times over with no trace of an eraser.

I’m learning to accept, however. I’m trying to write everyday; to put myself into this site [Though I worry that people will think that this site suck, and then I will take it personally as to thinking that I suck]. I’m trying to not to self-edit as much, and just way what is in my head. I guess we’ll see.

Technorati Tags: Writing, frustration, self editing

I’ve been working to get more content up here.  I finished my first music review for the site, which can be found here.  More reviews are on the way [Hopefully a CD I've been waiting a few weeks to arrive will appear in my mailbox soon] as well as my first Podcast.  Please drop a comment on any post to let me know what you think of the site so far.  I need the input.  Trying to balance it all with work and life.  And then L is coming home Wednesday night from a week-long trip to Colorado, so I shall be in want of being wrapped in her embrace.  It’s seems all the pots are coming out of the fire right now.  More to come…

Amusement Parks on Fire: Out of the Angeles

I fear that I’m becoming like my father in more ways than I’d rather admit. I can deal with looking like him. I learned that it’s ok that we act alike. I know it’s genetics to blame that we have the same sense of humour, dry as it may be. But one thing in particular compounds the list of things that keep me lying awake in bed at night; our shared nostalgia for music that fell from the public eye years before. I use to make fun of my old man for his music tastes. He is still listening to aged bands such as the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band and The Flying Burritto Brothers [I should note that while researching FBB for that link I learned Gramm Parson's was the front man... Points for that.] But now I find myself reminiscing for bands long since past [The Jesus & Mary Chain, Ride, My Bloody Valentine, Slowdive, Dinosaur Jr., etc...]. I listen to a lot of music, but I always find myself going back to old favorites. Maybe that’s why Amusement Parks on Fire is appealing to me. It’s new music that has all the energy and feel of a Shoegazer era long since past.

Amusement Parks on Fire came into the music scene in 2005 with their self-titled record. Despite limited listener exposure, critics largely hailed this album as a reminder of what made Shoegazer so damn good in the first place. Now with their sophomore full release [their first release with a full band], they didn’t try to re-invent themselves on this album. Blistering multi-tracked guitars, skyward synths, reverb-soaked vocals; It’s what made their first album so listenable in the first place. It comes together to make an album I lose myself in. Whether it’s blue shifting down the freeway late at night, drinking a beer on the couch, or coding with my headphones on; I’m somewhere entirely else.

This albums is excellent for anyone who wants it loud but needs a melody to be infused in it too. Amusement Parks on Fire seem to make albums designed to be listened to in their entirety. There are single-worthy tracks, but as a whole everything flows together as one uplifting piece. Heavy guitars & hammering drums surround you in a wall of noise without suffocating you under their weight. The strings and the synths making the album sound more like it’s flying.

Is it breaking some new musical boundary? Probably not. Does that discredit it’s place on my list of the best albums of 2006? Hell no. It’s building on a style that got lost somewhere. Maybe it had it’s time & place, but it’s good to see echoes or reflections or whatever you want to call it in something new.

Maybe I’m clinging on to a time that has since passed. I probably sound like one of those old guys blathering on about how music just isn’t what it use to be. Or maybe I just get nostalgic for music that had a place in my life.

Maybe my old man is cooler than I had thought…

 

 Amusement Parks on Fire: Out of the Angeles [6:31m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (91)

Technorati Tags: Amusement Parks on Fire, Out of the Angeles, music, Shoegazer

Much like the Author’s note to Zen & the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance:

What follows is based on actual occurrences. Although much has been changed for rhetorical purposes, it must be regarded in its essence as fact. However, it should in no way be associated with that great body of factual information relating to orthodox Zen Buddhist practice. It’s not very factual on motorcycles, either.

This has precious little [read: NOTHING] to with laptops or Zen, but rather I just needed to allude to an impending road trip more than anything. In a few weeks I am embarking with L on my first cross country road-trip [Cross Country = South -> North].

We leave June 8th and hit the road for Chautauqua, NY, where she is working for the summer. She packs a summer’s worth of belongings into her SUV, I grab my laptop and few days worth of necessity and we head forth. 1400+ miles together on open road. Despite my obvious reticence [since at the end of this trip I have to fly back to Houston & not see her for a month or two], I am excited. I get to see parts of America I have only read about or scene in little passing news clips on the TV. Now I get to see the road beneath me, the sky above me, the earth around me.

While we’re under some time constraints between my time off from the office and her start date in NY, we managed to plan this trip to not be just a long haul drive. We currently have plans to stop in Cleveland, OH [Yeah, I know, it sounds thrill a minute, eh?] for a day-ish. But, Cleveland, you see, is home of the Rock-&-Roll Hall of Fame & Museum. Now you see why I am excited. This is one of the meccas of music. And apparently, they also have some of the world’s fastest rollercoasters or something.

So between open skys and power chords, I am greatly looking forward to this trip. The best part of it all is that I get to share it with L, my space & gravity. I get to take a break from blue shifting. I’ll have my laptop in case the office calls, and maybe for some quick info. resource. I’m debating even trying to blog this trip. I guess we’ll see how I feel about it once the tires hit the road.

So, here it is. I bought the domain. I bought the webspace. And now I’m blogging on my own. The quiet I must admit is slightly terrifying. It’s like a vacuum. Especially since as of currently, only I know I have done this and only I will probably read this post.